Happy Holidays to all my single, childless, living-too-far-away-from-family-for a visit folks!

After having a conversation with one of my Aunts last night, sobering reality decided to stop tapping me on my shoulder for attention. Instead, it sucker-punched me and knocked me on my behind. Another holiday season and I have no one special (in the amorous/romantic way) to spend it with. It gets particularly rough for me this time of year because I sincerely want to be in a relationship, but as many of you don't know (or you might), gay men can sometimes become weird creatures when approached about the subject of commitment.

I have been single for 7 years now and I'm starting to feel it. I have been on several dates with several different men and none have had that "spark". I am either more interested in them than they are in me or vice versa. Not willing to compromise my principles, I have resolved that I will probably be alone for the rest of my life. That prospect didn't seem so real until last night. My Aunt is in her 50's and has never been married. She is well-educated, well-off (although she started a second career to avoid boredom), and retired at a very young age. She has a sharp mind, is attractive, and is comfortable in her skin but she's single. As we talked at length last night, she reminded me that her rearing compels her to want to be married or at least in a LTR. Mine, too. I want to share my life with someone who complements who I am.

I don't have a litany of requirements, no idealized type, and no deal-breakers (except for marriage or someone who is already in a relationship). So why am I single? Wish I knew the answers. Part of the reason I think, is my inability to become vulnerable to people early on so they can get to the real me. I mean, let me be clear, I don't hide my personality behind a facade, but I also keep my innermost feelings guarded. Emotional hurt is very real and quite painful. The other reason is that I haven't met a man that I have very much in common with.

The one person who I do have so much in common with and we complement each other so well is one of my very best friends... a heterosexual woman! We even jokingly call each other husband and wife and our mutual friends agree. In fact, at my family reunion last month, some of my cousins (who apparently don't know that I'm homosexual) asked me when were we going to get married. I laughed, she laughed, but my cousins didn't get it. So I love her with the same love I would have for a man, but she and I could never be intimate (which is one of the ways love is expressed) because I am simply not stimulated by women.

It's also interesting to note that I have a number of friends who are in the same category as I am and while they are single, they aren't lonely. They at least appear to be happy with who they are at this point in their life and I admire them for it.

So, to all of my fellow single folks out there gay, straight, or other, I wish you wonderful holiday greetings and I hope 2008 brings you all that you want, including that special someone to love. In the meantime, continue loving yourself and if you're in the DC area, I'll be preparing a feast for people like us to have someone to spend Xmas with. You may email for an invite if you'd like to come.

I think I'm in the process of OPTING OUT!!!

Happy Friday people. How goes everything? I hope that this holiday season finds you well and in the highest of spirits. I know all too well the dangers of being depressed during the holiday season and they even have a name for it now --- Seasonal Affective Disorder or S.A.D, for short. Coinkidink? I think not, but I digress.

I write today as a means of vetting out the answers to some of my life's most pressing questions. For example, my first question is What can black people do as a collective to make themselves better? I know plenty of answers to that question and I'm trying to save them for discussion next year as I hop to actually redesign the blog, since I actually have a readership now! Thanks ya'll! Anyhoo, my next question is, Aside from racism what is the biggest problem facing our community? Sadly (and not S.A.D.ly) it has to be complete and utter ignorance, coupled with "conscientious stupidity". I went to YouTube for this gem of a video called NIGGA day. GASP!!! Yes, even after I thought the NIGGA was dead, turns out this NIGGA has pulled a Jesus on us and rose from the dead to be celebrated in Barnseville, GA. This video is not safe for work.



Yes, it seems that this NIGGA is still partying and getting his groove on and the masses (particularly the white ones) are LOVING it! I mean really, I don't know what Dr. Mike's purpose is for creating his videos (he is the YouTube videographer), but I thank him for making me aware. Get into the fact that the name of the day could actually be the BLACK HERITAGE FESTIVAL or the Black Arts Festival [although no arts or artists seem to be present and not to be confused with the NATIONAL BLACK ARTS FESTIVAL in Atlanta] or the Emancipation Day (like Juneteenth in Texas), but everyone has chosen to adopt the moniker "NIGGA DAY". Has a nice ring to it, ya think?

Now there are some problems with the good doctor's approach because he didn't ask any WHITE people, or Hispanic people, or Asian people, etc. what day was being celebrated(I need to know). Maybe he did that with good reason and I am hoping he'll respond to my email so that I may ask him. However, whether or not any of the other races would call the festival NIGGA DAY is probably irrelevant. It would simply demonstrate that the word is so casually used by blacks, that NO ONE sees a problem with it. This video was high coonin' at best and a painful lesson in self-hatred at worst.

Having said that, I think it's time that we opt out of what the conventional definition of blackness means(no I don't know, it's one of those intangible things that everyone knows, but can't adequately describe... like umami). It's time for us to shape our identities for ourselves and to really unmask the crap that we've put up with, created, and caused over the last few decades. This goes way beyond WEB DuBois' duplicity of consciousness philosophy. When I have some answers for how we can do this, I'll start posting my OTHER questions.

Peace,
Shane

Community Activists to protest serial pedophile R. Kelly at the Church Owned L.A. Forum on Friday!!!

All,

I just received word that a group of protesters lead by Najee Ali and Islamic H.O.P.E will be greeting serial pedophile and child rapist, R. Kelly at his December 14th concert at the L.A Forum. Now here's the kicker: Guess who owns that venue now? Resident false prophet, pastor, and child molestation promulgator, Kenneth C. Ulmer! Yes, it appears that the good Bishop is all about giving Mr. Kelly space and forgiveness to find some more unwitting pre-teen and teenage girls to degrade and piss on.

Now I expect the justice system to drag it's feet when it comes to protecting the lives of black women, but the black church? Nearly 85% of all black church parishioners are women; I hope this sends a message to the members of this mega church. If it doesn't, lemme make it plain for you: Kenneth Ulmer is just as guilty as R. Kelly. By allowing Kelly to perform, Ulmer implies that it's okay to molest and degrade young girls as long as Jesus can be invoked to bail you out and bide you some time to molest again.

Here's the info about the protest.

Good Luck and I'll be there with you in spirit!!!

P.S. Where was Islamic H.O.P.E during the fallout from Dunbar Village?

Mike Vick... A lesson in Stupidity and hypocrisy and black people cannibalizing each other

This will be the first and LAST post I dedicate to the fallen NFL Star. Later today Mike will be sentenced in the State of VA, up to 5 YEARS in Federal prison for his involvement in a highly publicized dog-fighting case. I am not a Vick supporter, sympathizer, nor do I have any empathy for him and his situation. However, I think it's important to understand how Mike's stupidity is a minor distraction from what's really playing out in front of us. How is it possible to be able to hunt and kill animals for sport LEGALLY? Is there a difference between me shooting a deer and hacking it to pieces simply for the hell of it--and-- what Mike did? Story here.

I would deem both of the actions as inhumane treatment towards animals. Having said that, I am also confronted by my own hypocrisy though; I eat meat... I like to fish... I wear leather, shearling, wool, etc. Why am I not being brought up on charges of being an accomplice to or financial supporter of animal cruelty? I've seen the PETA videos about how animals are processed for food and clothes (and I am in no way a supporter); should we be as outraged as we are about animal fighting?


I won't get into the black-white racial dynamics affecting Mike's fate; his wealth alone (or so everyone thought) was supposed to be enough to elevate his class mentality and insulate him from thuggery. Unfortunately, it did not and now he has to pay. What I am more interested in (not as much as I am confused) is how Mike's black lawyers sold a brotha "up the river". How could any GOOD defense attorney allow their client to enter into a plea agreement without first being assured that the client would escape STATE charges? Unless these charlatans MEANT to screw Mike without vaseline, I would deem them incompetent counsel. In any case, Mike's stupidity got the best of him and that false bravado exhibited in May during multiple interviews may come back to bite him in the ass later today. The Judge in this case has nearly sole discretion in determining Mike's fate; I hope he sees that and sentences Mike fairly.

46 percent of BLACK GAY MEN LIVING WITH HIV

Yep... you guessed it right. 1 out of every 2 black gay men are living with HIV. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention in ATL, the newest figures are actually much higher than previously thought. What's even more alarming is that there doesn't seem to be much difference in the sexual practices of white gay men vs. black gay men... black gay men just seem to be getting infected more.

*SIGH*

Read more about the study here.

Jason Whitlock on the Black KKK

Yes, it's true. If you haven't already read Jason Whitlock's article about Sean Taylor's senseless death, you can do so by clicking here. Now, when I read the title of the article, I thought to myself, ooooh... yet another black person trying to go all Bill Cosby on poor folks! The article was actually quite good and I'm not even a fan of Mr. Whitlock.

I won't insult anyone's intelligence by paraphrasing the article. It needs to be read by everyone and I think Jason makes some very salient points.

I've been busy offline, but I'll be getting this little blog of mine together and updating more frequently.